He said goodbye

Her eyes were filled with shadows again
But no one asked anymore
She lived a life anyone would want
But everyone knew she wasn’t really alive
They knew she died when he told her goodbye

Haze

So, you know how if you take a really hot shower and you don’t have a vent the mirror will get all foggy and hazy? Well that’s how my life is right now. Filled with familiar faces and objects, but not really recognizable yet. And all I can do is just keep moving and just keep pretending everything is alright, right? I mean no one seems to like it much when I’m not in a good mood, and I understand why they don’t, I mean I can be a horrible person when I’m mad, upset, lost, or confused about stuff, but it’s like I just keep going and I just keep pretending, but nothing ever seems to get better. And really it’s getting to the point where I feel like I’m slowly dying because of it all. I’ve got friends that want me to just be happy. I’ve got a guy who is seriously close to being a stalker, and I swear the only reason he probably doesn’t follow me home and watch me is because he can’t drive. I’ve got a guy who seems to listen to everything I’m saying to him, but never really hears me and we keep going in circles and I don’t understand any of it. I’ve got all these repetitive questions about my future and my major and my grades and my GPA and everything else you can think of related to school. I’ve got another guy who calls me a whore regularly and seriously if I am I want to know where all the money goes and what happens to the whole sex part of being a whore. My mom is oblivious to my life all she sees is the easy going mostly lazy teenager I pretend to be. But hopefully soon the haze will start to clear.. I can already start seeing my outline looking back at me..

Something about you

I heard from you the other day,
Said you were doing fine,
And I coudln’t help but smile inside,
I know it sounds weird,
But I’m lost everytime I talk to you,
It’s still like nothing else matters,
It’s still like it was a year ago,
And I know you’re long gone outta my life,
But every now and then it’s nice to think back,
Back to when we were good,
Those times were fun,
And the only sad part is that we’re no longer friends

This is a poem I wrote September 21st, 2007. I found it a couple weeks ago. I wrote it about my ex and finding it made me start thinking about a lot of things in my life and how much has changed and how much hasn’t. And so much of it is confusing to me, but I guess that’s life isn’t it? Always changing never stopping.

Moments

*shrugs* this is just something I wrote a little bit ago…

With each breath another moment passes by,
Never slowing down,
And if you wait to long it’ll be gone,
Lost in the past,
But in that one moment,
In that one breath we could’ve been anything,
We could’ve changed it all,
Could’ve changed the world,
But we wait too long,
And now it’s all gone,
Nothing left but the love and pain,
It came so close to being real,
But I held my breath too long,
And you waited too long,
So the moment passed on by,
In one quick breath everything stayed the same,
Yet changed itself all around.

Hihi

Hihi I’m Squishy! No that’s not my real name. Tis a nickname I got at school. Kinda a long story, but I have the time to tell you and I suppose it really isn’t THAT long lol, because I’m sorta good at making things shorter than they are . I have this computers class during the day and instead of doing work like we’re suppose to a bunch of us play a game, and well my name on the game is ‘Squishy’. SO people just started calling me Squishy. Tis an odd nickname I know, but oh well there is much worse . Hmm well this is my first post so maybe a little about me? Lets see I’m 17 years old I’ll be turning 18 in a few months though. I’m a senior in high school which I graduate from in May. YAY for that! Lol. Well lets see here what else what else. Uhm well I’ll be attending college in August and I’m so excited to get out of my house and go live on campus! I love to read, and I’m kinda addicted to the computer tis my one true love! Haha! Well I dunno what else to tell you about me, so I guess I’ll stop typing now >.>

Oh and this is like one of my favorite Jeff Dunham videos lol

<3 Achmed!

Le Squishy!