Haze
So, you know how if you take a really hot shower and you don’t have a vent the mirror will get all foggy and hazy? Well that’s how my life is right now. Filled with familiar faces and objects, but not really recognizable yet. And all I can do is just keep moving and just keep pretending everything is alright, right? I mean no one seems to like it much when I’m not in a good mood, and I understand why they don’t, I mean I can be a horrible person when I’m mad, upset, lost, or confused about stuff, but it’s like I just keep going and I just keep pretending, but nothing ever seems to get better. And really it’s getting to the point where I feel like I’m slowly dying because of it all. I’ve got friends that want me to just be happy. I’ve got a guy who is seriously close to being a stalker, and I swear the only reason he probably doesn’t follow me home and watch me is because he can’t drive. I’ve got a guy who seems to listen to everything I’m saying to him, but never really hears me and we keep going in circles and I don’t understand any of it. I’ve got all these repetitive questions about my future and my major and my grades and my GPA and everything else you can think of related to school. I’ve got another guy who calls me a whore regularly and seriously if I am I want to know where all the money goes and what happens to the whole sex part of being a whore. My mom is oblivious to my life all she sees is the easy going mostly lazy teenager I pretend to be. But hopefully soon the haze will start to clear.. I can already start seeing my outline looking back at me..
